GUS MCOY

“The ghosts that we knew made us black and all blue But we’ll live a long life And the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view And we’ll live a long life” -Mumford and Sons I’m standing at the side of the altar, hands clasped behind my back, when all hell breaks loose.  The bride’s headpiece has fallen off for the third or fourth time, just as both she and the groom are in the middle of exchanging their wedding vows.  Laughter erupts from … READ ALL

All good things come to an end.  My friend, Ski, eventually EAS’d from the Marine Corps.  His wild antics, crude behavior, and I-don’t-give-a-shit attitude had to find a place elsewhere.  He was going home to Boston.  But, that doesn’t mean he didn’t go out with a bang on his last day as an active-duty Marine. Ski EAS’d at noon on a Friday.  At around 1230, he pulled his car up to the gravel in front of our barracks so he could pack his belongings.  (We … READ ALL

One of the funniest things Ski ever told me was something his mother said after he EAS’d—a quote that I’ve enthusiastically used in a few stories: “I actually felt more comfortable when you and your brother were in Iraq… because at least I knew you two were being professional.” L-O-MOTHAFUCKIN’-L!  That line never gets old. If you read it, then you’ll realize that Ski had a brother who served during the same time.  I’ve never really mentioned him in any of the stories because I … READ ALL

I recently moved out of a nice little house I was renting.  Balls’ brother-in-law suggested I move in with his friend, JR… so I did. He’s the archetypal West Texas character.  After an enlistment in the Army, JR moved back to the Permian Basin and found considerable success working in the oil industry.  Because of his personality and local ties, I’ve designated him my unofficial culture-guide to West Texas.  (The devotee of this website knows I’m a born and raised Yankee who didn’t move to … READ ALL

I try not to live my life with any regrets.  Every mistake or ridiculous situation I’ve ever put myself in (or others have), no matter how idiotic, has been something I’ve tried to take a little wisdom from—or at the very least, a good laugh.  But sometimes there are things you look back on and cringe when you realize how extremely stupid they were. Here are my top three: My Jesus Faze: During my junior year of high school, I went through some weird spiritual … READ ALL

AS ORIGINALLY SEEN ON THE RHINO DEN Our body is a temple.  We must cherish it, harness it, and nurture it.  But when Marine Corps Ball season comes around, our nation’s Soldiers of the Sea treat their temples the same way the Chinese treated temples when they invaded Tibet—by burning and pillaging the ever-loving shit out of them.  It’s all about birthday season, my friends!  I’m talkin’ an absolute breakdown of military fraternization policy, abundant alcohol consumption, and a complete disregard for social standards.  From … READ ALL

All of these stories take place when my friends and I were young Marines at the top of our game.  Shit’s changed.  Now in our late twenties, the men I once knew as wild and hearty savages have turned into domesticated Average-Joes.  It’s a good thing, a sign of maturity.  But it doesn’t mean we still don’t have fun when we get around each other. I recently went out with a number of the characters I’ve written about for the “Bert” character’s bachelor party.  It … READ ALL

Those close to me know I’ve always dabbled in the written word.  However, I never made a tangible commitment to it until a few years ago when I found myself in an uncertain phase of my life.  Essentially, I had a lot of time on my hands.  Why?  I had just been kicked out of school.  Actually, it would be more appropriate to say I got punted out—with a big middle finger from the dean as I walked away with my tail in between my … READ ALL